A True Travellers Guide to Staying Sane in India P2

In my previous post published last week, I discussed the monumental topic of staying healthy while travelling in India. It’s not only an important topic but an increasingly relevant one too. You almost can’t say you’ve fully ‘experienced’ India unless you’ve personally experienced ‘Delhi Belly’. In this post I’m going to cover another two issues that have the potential of ruining your holiday, but if managed with a little bit of forward knowledge may become nothing more than part of a larger experience..

The friendly face of India

Dealing with overly interested men (for women)

Without a doubt, the most frustrating element for younger western women visiting India is being treated like Angelina Jolie everywhere you go (minus people asking for your autograph), no matter how filthy and unattractive you look. Endless, overly friendly “Hellos!”, “Where are you from?”, “You have a very beautiful smile!”, “Do you have a boyfriend?” etc. get old very quickly, particularly when the level of sincerity is often highly suspect, and you are approached constantly.

Perhaps most annoying are the leering male stares, which can be held for a remarkably long time (say a half hour or more on public transportation), followed by suspicious chattering in Hindi (or the local regional tongue) to mates, followed by rounds of laughter and then more dedicated, focused staring. And this is while travelling with a 6’2 husband and sporting a wedding band!

Surrender to the reality that the fairer your skin and the lighter your hair (Scandinavian women seem to get it the worst); you are going to get a lot of attention in India, no matter what you do. However, the following techniques can be helpful in cutting down the attention and in making it clear that you are not seeking an Indian boyfriend:

1. 

   Fancy a little unwanted attention from these guys?

   Travel with a man if at all possible. Men are less inclined to chat you up and are generally less aggressive. And for those who don’t take the hint, it’s very helpful to have a guy wedge himself between you and an overly persistent suitor on trains and buses.

2. Cover-up and do your best to ignore the staring. Skirts to the ankles, loose fitting pants, loose t-shirts or long sleeve shirts are annoying in the heat but can be marginally helpful. Try sporting local styles to minimize your exoticness; a salwar kameez (long top to your knees with pajama pants and a shawl covering your breasts) is the most practical choice and can be picked up for somewhere between 150 to 600 rupees depending on the fabric and how sparkly you want it.
3. Use local cultural indicators that you are married (even if you’re not). Sport a red or dark red bindi (circular sticker placed on the third eye) and wear a yellow gold and black necklace (you can buy cheap ones all over). Before I discovered this, I tried sporting a wedding band without much luck. My theory was that a lot of men didn’t have any reference for it given many married women in India do not wear bands.
4. Pretend you speak another language. It’s not the most mature thing you’ll ever do but when you’re dealing with an absence of manners, sometimes you’ve got to match fire with fire.
5. 

   India presents so many different experiences

   If you’re feeling particularly fed up, you can sarcastically stare back (but this can be seen as encouraging) or try telling the guy(s) off in Hindi. I never tried it but was instructed by some local young women to say “Chata Padega!”, which roughly translates to “Idiot, I will slap your face!”

Bargaining and minimizing the rip-off factor

As completely lovely as Indian people can be, ripping off foreigners is endemic, mostly in buying non-food goods, hiring a guide/driver and making transportation bookings. As one of my non-PC Indian friends told me, this is affectionately referred to as the ‘white tax’. On top of this, India is home to Bollywood, which has unquestionably imparted a highly dramatic influence on the culture, often taking the form of Oscar-worthy theatrics in bargaining.

This means people can be completely sincere and lovely…and rip you off spectacularly, all in the same transaction. We had an agent act fully outraged by the suggestion of overcharging us, conveying contempt as if we’d insulted his dead mother…and later discovered that we had been overcharged by 150%. Getting ripped off is an inescapable reality in India.

Don't forget time to stop and enjoy your surroundings

The usual tactics still apply: never take it too seriously, try to get them to name a price and offer the first discount before starting bargaining proper, etc. But unless you have a good idea of the price you’re paying, don’t expect to be able to read the body language and verbal cues the way you can in other countries. Another element to bargaining that is often underutilized by travelers is to work the gender angle, if you’re travelling with a member of the opposite sex. While India can be without question a rather sexist country for women, ladies can have great power in using their femininity in negotiations with men of the flirty variety. Try to read gender cues to determine if the vendor you’re dealing with is a man’s man or one who prefers the fairer sex. Learn when to step back and let you partner, a.k.a. ‘Boss Man/Woman’ lead the negotiation.

Hopefully you are now on your way to understanding a little more about life in India and how tourists are generally (but not always) viewed. In my next, and last post on Staying Sane in India, I’m going to talk about ‘Getting Around’, ‘Dealing with Beggars’ and the very important ‘Managing Sensory Overload’

Main banner image from vilseskogen under a creative commons attribution agreement

Comments

• anujvyas says:

  hey Jacquelyn...
  
  Greetings....Good to read the info u are putting for travellers in india...I just went thru this paragraph of ur post -
  
  "Surrender to the reality that the fairer your skin and the lighter your hair (Scandinavian women seem to get it the worst); you are going to get a lot of attention in India, no matter what you do"
  
  and beleeve me, though being an indian, i actually had to pull an aussie female frnd of mine from such a bad situation in north india....I agree to you over the ideas of unwarranted attention and local guys getting troublesome with ladies who are white or anyways good looking...
  plus the issue of overcharging is one of big debate....let alone foreigners, even me as an indian had been overcharged a couple of times unless i learnt the art of smart travelling...
  So well keep posting good and truly sensible stuff as u r doing....good observation....
  Cheers
  Anuj

  1 year ago

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